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[Jun. 1st, 2009|06:14 pm] |
Been feeling the need to say some things lately, not to anyone in particular .. I just need to write some stuff out so I can feel better.
I've been thinking about the past a lot, I know how nostalgic I can get and sometimes it drives me to the point where I can't stand to think about it anymore. I know I shouldn't be "living in the past" or I shouldn't try to bring the past back .. but dang I just miss it so much. I just sit here, with my music on shuffle and a song can trigger so much. I get all upset over the friends I had and I think about how I just let them all slip away. I manage to lose all of my friends over time. I don't know what it takes for me to keep someone around forever, but I really should learn. The only person who has managed to stick with me is Meagan, my best friend since I was eleven. I know that people come and go, and the ones who stick around are the ones who will be there forever. I admit that when it comes to almost any kind of relationship, I'm not the best. I can't be a very good friend to anyone due to my lack of money, cell phone, and car. If I had it all, I would probably be able to hold people hostage as my friend and let that be that. I'm truly sorry if this doesn't make sense, I'm in that mind set where I write and just don't stop until the thoughts are gone.
I look back on summers past and think about how I never had to deal with any day being a bore. I was always out, doing something, taking on some new adventure with at least one of my friends. Not like I ever had an abundance of friends to begin with or anything. But anyways, one big summer event I like to attend has already passed, I couldn't manage to make it. Summer is filled with lots of adventures, but yet I have none of the typical planned. Mostly in part because I don't mingle with the same people anymore. I have a "new set of friends" now, but that doesn't mean I'm looking to completely rule out the ones from my past. I wish I knew what to do to bring the life back into those friendships. I don't know if it's one of those "people change and they move on" deals, but it breaks my heart.
I miss camping, and I miss local shows, I miss seeing familiar faces every day, and running into some of those faces when least expected. I miss Denny's and drinking 8 glasses of coffee a night while tuned into intense conversation .. and then some not so intense, just downright silly conversation. I miss sleepovers with photo shoots and 40s. I miss Fall Out Boy shows where I would sit out in the cold for 9 hours waiting just for a barricade spot. I miss the Myspace Cafe and FifthWindowHigh and Every Avenue shows. I miss downriver [sometimes hah] I miss driving down the freeway with no destination in sight, drinking Arizona Iced Tea and cigarettes.
I'm sorry old friends, for not trying harder, for not being the friend I should have been. I'm sorry that I'm not the same person I was before. I promise you it's still there in me, I've been through a lot and it's taken it's toll on me. I'll be here if you need me, waiting with open ears and a open arms. I miss you, let's bring back some of the past, and live it today. |
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[Mar. 5th, 2009|06:33 pm] |
Sometimes I wonder why I get so much joy from listening to the Jonas Brothers. It's nice to know there's something out there that can change my mood from complete crap to amazingness. Laugh all you want.
Speaking of those boys, saw the 3D movie twice opening weekend. I need to find a new hobby or something. Kaitlyn made her film debut in the movie. If you saw it, which maybe three of you on my friends list did .. she would be the girl who runs her hand through Joe's hair during Pushing Me Away. We screamed, it was funny. Then we went to go pee during Taylor Swift and she was running through the movie theater telling everyone she was a movie star, and then she fell. Twas funny.
Less than one month till I meet the New Kids on the Block. Diet went to shit of course. I still lost some weight, and gained a pound back. Ew. Back on it when I'm not stuck at my moms never ending supply of junk food house. She's in the Bahamas .. well on a cruise. Jealous major of that.
Ready to party this weekend, I've been stressed all week. Mike [mom's boyfriend] .. well his daughter decided it would be a good idea to throw a party on Tuesday night. I made myself so sick over it. Thinking about how if the cops come I was basically screwed. Everything went alright. Kids were gone by 11 with no trouble. My punctuation sucks this entry, oh well.
I need to make myself some dinner, I'm thinking about a salad. Yum! |
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[Nov. 21st, 2008|04:16 am] |
Twilight .. You are my life now.
Stunning, all I can say. I won't go into deetz only because some of you might wanna see it eventually, and you should because it's definitely worth it. I'll be seeing it again after the craze dies down, and until then I'm keeping my eyes open for a bootleg copy. It needs to be 2010 so New Moon can come out already [which will be interesting to see how that one plays out]
Goodnight! |
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[Nov. 19th, 2008|02:09 pm] |
All I really want right now is for it to be midnight of 11-21-2008 so I can be enjoying Twilight and also see the new Harry Potter trailer which is apparently going to be in the previews for the movie.
Too bad you ditched me Harry, I would have been watching you. Instead I found a new love. Shame shame.
hahaha.
I'm alive, I have no life, no job, no money, nothing. But oh well. Things have to get better at some point, right? |
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[Sep. 25th, 2008|02:55 pm] |
Okay, I hate Forever 21 .. I mean not the store, but as an employee.
I went there on Monday, feeling super retarded. Didn't get trained on anything, so I pretty much just stood there pretending to straighten things, when apparently I was doing it all wrong to begin with. I have to go in at 5:00 today and I am dreading it. It's so hot in there and all the girls probably think I'm stupid. I have no idea what the heck I am supposed to do. I just wish they would have someone actually WORK with me and help me out.
Basically if it doesn't get better within the next couple weeks, I am looking for a new job because their super LAME 10% discount is not worth it. |
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[Sep. 19th, 2008|01:21 pm] |
Apparently it's talk like a pirate day, cool.
Anyways, my first day at Forever 21 is on Monday. STOKED!
that is all. |
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[Jul. 19th, 2008|10:43 pm] |
Here goes my Warped Tour post.
PHEMONINAL!
Basically. We didn't get there till sometime after noon. We walked in and realized that Mayday Parade was already playing, which sucked but we watched majority of their set. Then we ventured off to find the lineup because that's top priority. Realized that I had already missed Every Avenue which was a major upset, but I quickly got over that. I honestly don't remember who we watched next, I'm pretty sure it was Norma Jean because they were playing right next to the line up thing. There was really no one we wanted to see playing for the next hour or more so we just walked around and checked things out. Ran into Dave from Every Avenue so chatted with him for a bit, then we walked around seeing all the other merch tents that were inside. Made friends with the most beautiful British man named Chris, he was selling merch for the group Beat Union, who were really good on CD, then made friends with a guy who looked like Tek from the Real World Hawaii, he was in love with Niki. After that we literally made a mad dash for Say Anything and got there just in time. Twas amazing might I say. After that we watched Every Time I die, I think, or maybe that was before Say Anything. I don't remember. Anyways Niki wanted to wait in line for the Say Anything signing only because she wanted to tell the lead singer that she thought he was beautiful, and when we found out he wasn't even there we started a mission; to collect cigarettes for the band From First to Last. We did that for about an hour which meant I missed The Devil Wears Prada which made me very sad. Needless to say we came back with about 100 cigarettes. Next we ran to 3oh!3 which is the greatest thing to hit music since who knows when. BEST FREAKING SHOW EVER! Gorgeous man with slick dance moves. Dance-a-thon basically. At this point I was near death from no water for like 3 hours but we headed over to catch the last song from Forever The Sickest Kids. Did a lap around the inside to say hello to our new friends. get water and jetted to Cobra. STORY OF THE FREAKING YEAR WAS PLAYING! I almost pooped. Enjoyed their last two songs and made a MAD DASH to front for cobra, which was midly successful, second row-ish. Died from being so hot. So worth it, during Snakes on a Plane William Beckett came out, and of course Travis! Was soooo stoked. Grabbed Gabes peen, like a teenager and felt dirty after, danced, punched a girl in the head a couple times, sang, save eff me faces to Ryland and Gabe and danced some more. Jack's Mannequinn was next. Then we just wandered.
After the show we managed to make our way to The Fillmore/State Bar. Got a drink and hung out in the venue area. Sat down with Roxanne where something was thrown at us. Twas Gabriel Saporta calling for us. Niki got her mack on, I tried my mackin moves on Josh from Every Avenue, but he told me I was like his sister. This is what I get for being a mother to those boys for 4 years. I was literally in the same room with too many cool people. The Academy Is, Gym Class Heroes, Cobra Starship, Katy Perry, The Audition, We The Kinds, freaking ridic! Made friends with THE CUTEST BROTHERS ever! Niki and Nate from Cobra made a team effort at beating the score on the picture hunt game in the bar. What a sweet boy, forreal .. not to mention so good looking. Made our way back into the venue and hung out for a bit with the brothas. Niki got pulled away by Gabe. Once she got back proceeded to tell me her asked for her digits. I almost peed. Then told me how she watched Vicky T get thrown off of a golf cart, made my night.
Gabe texted Niki twice. It was sdjkfghewuir, is the best way to describe it. Kevin's loft for a minute. Back to Niki's and attempted to sleep. Niki got a phone call around noon, from Mr. Gabe himself. She had to make me leave the room because if not she would have sounded like an overly excited teeny bopper. He ended up texting her later because he hasn't been getting any of her texts, and he was like "why aren't we friends anymore" and she tried calling him, but of course the rockstar didn't answer.
Niki and Gabe have been having a mini love affair for the past 3 or so years. Ever since he saw her and called her his "future ex wife" .. The next time they saw each other they traded screen names. The next time, he was a dick. And now they are phone buddies. So amazing.
One day I wish I could be a babe like Niki and attract cute boys. Seriously everyone we met hugged her and not me. I was like HEY COOL! Whatever.
If you read all of this, I will probably be super shocked.
OMGSH! and I forgot.
SUGAR RAY AND THE SPIN DOCTORS TOMORROW! |
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[Jul. 17th, 2008|12:35 am] |
Can I just say that if I miss Warped because I'm broke and can't afford to pay 35 dollars at the gates I will fucking kill myself.
That is all. |
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